Don’t Make Simple Complicated: The Backstory
Consider:
Some of the most profound realities about life become apparent at some of the most unlikely moments. This is one of those stories, and in this case, it all starts with the laundry!
The Backstory
“Don’t make simple complicated” was born out of frustration at everyone and no one doing their part around the house. Let me set the scene:
It is the weekend, and I am a full-time middle school teacher with a husband and four children, ages 1, 9, 11, and 13. There are household chores to be done, papers to grade, lessons to plan, kids to run places, and I am the only one overwhelmed by all this. So my natural reaction is to bustle around the house in a fit of sorts, irritated at all that needs to be done and irritated with the lack of help. In the midst of my frustrated frenzy, I realize that the laundry that I had asked to be put away is still in the laundry room. For some reason, this makes me lose it. I am a little shocked at myself, as this very thing has happened before, but it just hit with more impact this time.
From the top of the stairs, I yell at the top of my lungs, “Why does everything that is so freaking simple need to be so freaking complicated!!!” I am not gonna lie, I instantly felt calmer. Not because I had released my angst in the act of yelling, but because something about the words that came out of my mouth made things so clear to me. “That’s it,” I thought, “don’t make simple complicated.” After some thought and reflection, I settled on the idea that I/we needed to simplify and communicate expectations more clearly, with less emotion, and sometimes in writing: Household Expectations (see below).
So, this became my mantra—a set of words I could live by. Even though its origins were born out of frustration, its meaning extends to many aspects of my life. I have become known for these words. Initially, it was something I said to myself and to my family. Saying these words instead of getting worked up helped to diffuse situations where simplicity became a better response than a heated standoff about what needs to be done and why. Eventually, these words were written above the assignments listed on the whiteboard in my classroom. My family, friends, coworkers, and former students have all come to know that this is how I try to roll.
Before I could confidently claim these words for myself, I had to do some research. I mean, they are my words, and they did come from my own experience and my own brain, but I wanted to see who else was credited with this same school of thought. I somehow felt even more sure about adopting this as my mantra when I discovered that Confucius was credited with the phrase, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Yep! Confucius and I—we get it!
Household Expectations
Below is a copy of the Household Expectations linked above. This was printed out and occupied space on our bulletin board as a concrete and non-negotiable reminder that our actions and input show and prove us to be capable, considerate, and caring people.
Recognize and Celebrate Hard Work
This is currently on display on the bulletin board. We sent each of the kids the same note and a $10.00 gift card to celebrate their hard work. Stephen always displays his notes from friends and family. I love that he appreciates being appreciated. We are so very proud of Grace, Claire, Sarah, and Stephen and their accomplishments. Consider that a simple note can go a long way!
